Monday, 19 September 2016

Teachers, I Thank You.

Before The Girl started her first year in school, never would I have thought that I would be facing problems. Filled with confidence, I thought she would be how she is outside school - chatty, friendly, full of energy, a lemon bursting with zest, ah something like that lah. Instead, we had to go through tantrumic-angry "i hate school" attitude almost the whole of nursery year.  She is meek, quiet, not so sociable. Totally the opposite of who she is.

We requested to change AM session so I can deal with her instead of her Nenek. She was all good this year and then August, wham bam back to screams and tearfuls 'NO! I hate school, I don't want to study! I don't want to go back to school!'

After much probing and investigating whether she was bullied etc, she revealed that one day she was left in the bathroom all alone, her buddy had ran out and she claimed nobody remembered she was in there. I am sure left her quite traumatized by the incident. 

After weeks of battles and skipping school, the teacher and I came up with a reward system for the days she goes to school. She was doing good at token #4 when she decided she cares for no tokens anymore. I was at my wits end to this problem. I bait her with gifts and offerings. Refused to those offers.  I took away all her privileges; no more tv time, no more ipads, threatening to throw away her toys, total lock down at home. She dared me with a "go ahead". I screamed and screamed one morning. I screamed at everyone else at home. Nobody was spared.

One hour after my meltdown, a change of mind and she wanted to go. She claimed she felt sick in the stomach seeing me sobbing uncontrollably in a mess. Shoving aside the negative outburst earlier on, we skipped to school happily. 

Upon reaching school an hour late, her teachers (celebrating teachers' day that day mind you!) face lit up seeing the girl. All hugs and kisses when one of the teachers saw me standing, eyes all puffed up and red; asked "are you ok, are you crying??" 

I just broke down; right in the middle of her class. Thank god the kids were in the other class! I wonder what would they think seeing this Makcik crying her ass off hahaha. They rushed over to me and said aww this mummy deserve our hugs. 

Never felt so much love before...from that many teachers hugging and patting and kissing my head. :(

So i thought a token should be given back to the teachers. I salute them for their patience and their big hearts to handle bajellion kids. I can't even handle my 2, pfft.

I can never thank you enough.

For now, I might send the girl to the PD and see what the next step will be. 


This episode left me quite weary and wary of the next kid. 

Good luck October, come at me, bring it.

*curls up fist into boxer position; all bruised and battered*



Wednesday, 14 September 2016

The 13 September

13 September marks the 2nd year that I don the hijab.

Before being in the hijab camp, I was very judgemental (damn me and my judgmentalism soul). Judgemental in a sense that I feel when one is in a hijab, one must act and talk in a proper way. I think I am way, waaaay off the mark.

I am still me, just a covered me.

...and I am not wearing it 100% proper. 

So now that I am in this hijab camp, I feel people tend to judge us more than those non-wearing sisters. 

I can get pretty confused. All the attacks and bad names we get, I have to keep the faith.
I need to talk to HIM more. I am drifting, oh drifting away...

I tell you the challenges I faced these 2 years are pretty testing and strong. My faith shook one too many times. I can't do this, I can't do that, I can't act this way, I can't speak of such. I get stares, I get side glances when I travel. A guy cussed at me while in the subway in London recently. I was holding the boy in my arms. I lowered my gaze away from his angry eyes and muttered silently duas to protect me and my kids.

I did a harikari on my social network but welp I am back. Is it like eating back on my words eh? Heh.

I had my reasons. I needed to be in contact and in touch with my friends. I may have unfortunately caused some people to think I deleted them. I had friends who came up and feel offended by that move of mine. I apologised and explain. I just needed that social media break, I told them.  Seriously, it is nothing personal. It's just me. 

It was right after the death of a very dear old friend, that I realised I need to be connected via social media because where else can you be updated on your friends nowadays amiright?

So I have been having some girlie time as of late. Some girls need special mention because you know hey they thought of you siah! People who took the time off to spend time with you are the special ones ok.
As you grow older, you can count the numbers of friends left.

Treasure the unexpected ones.

Although we may come off strong especially during our advice and 'counselling' sessions aaaand might annoy each other (bahahhaha); you know I got your back. But seriously thanks siah for the moral support during my broken days. You know that day when I was totally broken and lost?


Mothers need a break too what.
So it was a movie date and chit chat until stomach pain from laughing too much.
Thanks for the time miladies!


Of #mesjidselfies, "hashtag that!","sedap" mcdonalds, 16 years report updates and laughing till my 6pecs come out.
Thanks Shaha "BGirl" and Faheeha for thinking of me all these years, come sayang sayang.
Yerda Prata 44 aka Mas, short for MasjidSultan

Thank you.

Tuesday, 13 September 2016

I Need Me Some Distractions

Heaved a sigh of ... blocked arteries kinda relief? You know to relieve that choked sensation in the throat? Yes, that one. ha ha hahaha

So we parents had 2 weeks, yes 2 weeks of dating and catch up to do. We could do anything we want, anyyyything. It feels like a free pass in the hall to run or go streaking. But we ended up missing the kids and went back home to Netflix and chill *eyebrow raise*.  It was a no kid Thursday night throughout Saturday afternoon for us. I even sleep in which I haven't done since my teenage days bahaha. (well actually I woke up at my usual 6 plus then I stayed awake till 10am and continue to sleep until 1pm).

This clingy mum misses her kids but we are now even in the discussion of probably doing a short getaway sans kids. 

Will see how that comes through. These are all just talks.

too free, stop motion time for me.

In my childless days, I did some cross stitching to occupy my childless freedom. Invoking my inner grandma to do some badass cross stitching.

I am in my OMG WHY YOU SO FREE ONE AR ERDA? mode when:

1. No bosses around (that includes the one at work hahaha)
2. I am on super level high stress and I need to calm the bleep down
3. I just had a cup of black coffee
4. Distraction for my shaky hands 
5. Distractions

have you seen anyone cross stitch angrily with tears welled up in her eyes?
yea, i know her.